Sunday, 1 November 2009

 

REPORT ON DURGAPOREAN GET_TOGETHER


(Everywhere across whatever sorrows of which our life is woven, some radiant joy will gaily flash past!)

Date:14th September 2007
Time: 7 PM-
Venue: Lovely Bar

Present, in alphabetical order:

  1. Chabilal Bastola
  2. Deewakar Chhetri
  3. Heruka Zangpo
  4. Singay Dorji
  5. Sonam Phuntsho
  6. Tenzin Dendup

Guests:

  1. Nar Bahadur
  2. Sanjay Gurung

The evening of 14th September 2007 had started drizzling and the graduates of 2005, Durgapur, had slowly started gathering, one by one, with Chabilal and Deewakar having reached the venue before everyone, shortly joined by Singay, then Tenzin and Sonam. The last one to come, Heruka was late, defying all managerial sense of timing!

Nar Bahadur and Sanjay Gurung were the guests of honor.

For the ones who had reached on time, they had started the night off with a cup of tea, save for Sonam who had kick-started with a cup of coffee. Hardly had they finished drowning their cups of tea and coffee, Singay suggested to starting with the “drinking session”. So, bottles of “Hits” and “Fosters” were ushered in, glasses filled, Tenzin had to be coaxed into drinking his portion. The bottles that followed were smoothly drained, but Deewaker and Chabi were in no position to be negotiated with any form of intoxicating drinks. Instead, they took refuge in Frootis and hot water to great lengths throughout the evening. As we look back, Chabi had really wasted his muscles, shying away from strong drinks, when in fact; other members of the group were willing to take his bites, miserably!

The group started talking in earnest and as the conversations got more serious, the graduates started talking about politics and someone graciously decided he would vote for a party named PPD. The other members of the gathering had to loose a sense or two, before deciding the other guy had meant the party, DPT. Since politics was as strange a thing to this group as a sheepskin to a cow, they decided to talk something more close to their lives for the finer parts of the evening. So, the group began talking about “Management”. But people soon found out that they were equally good at management as they were with politics.

The group carried on with the night, keeping their stomachs safely placed, amidst delicacies and drinks!

In a sudden twist of events, as time itself should have projected and picked the topic, the group started talking about girl friends! Man! Who would have thought about that topic? The group figuratively bowed down before the inventor of Girl Friends! This topic, though freely discussed and, and the group having freely seen people enjoy the fruits, was undoubtedly, a nightmare to the group. Each member present was equally a loser as he was to the one sitting next to him, separated only by a glass of beer.

Finally, the graduates of 2005 decided to bring down the monster, pin down the WHYs and HOWTOs to availing a girl friend, through a step-wise procedure. They got down to framing the procedures immediately, with haste. The points following this paragraph is the report of the true accounts of that was discussed and decided during the night of that fateful 14thSeptember:

1A. WHY Sonam doesn’t get Girl Friends:

  1. Goes after quality girls
  2. Daddy Figure
  3. Bad memories of a famed dirty prick
  4. Arrogant
  5. Spiritual Connection

1B. Sonam’s recommended HOWTO:

  1. Make a threshold (Don’t try for MoWHS/BoB…)
  2. Be more romantic
  3. Don’t be a dirty prick
  4. Don’t be arrogant
  5. Go for the peanut rather than finding spiritual connection

Consolidated Report on Sonam

The group pointed out and argued that Sonam was proposing to girls way past his caliber. He was recommended to devising a threshold whereby, he could adopt simple girls as his girlfriends.

The other pressing flaw the group found in him and why he failed was the very fact in him having no romantic expressions. So, as a quick solution, he was mildly forced to practice the popular expressions of romance in front of the group. After several facial expressions he tried, one qualified to be termed romantic and was immediately translated into a photograph for the record and general consumption that Sonam was capable of romance.

Rest of the points were treated personal and recommended accordingly without much explanations and are as reflected above under clauses 3, 4 and 5 of recommendations 1B.


2A. WHY Chabilal doesn’t get a Girl Friend:

  1. Uses strength
  2. Shows Muscles in the public
  3. Shy with lovolical approach
  4. No changes in feet
  5. Egoistic

2B. Chabilal’s recommended HOWTO:

  1. Be more romantic
  2. Shed Muscles
  1. Act stupid indefinitely
  2. Wear Expensive shoes
  3. Don’t be egoistic

Consolidated Report on Chabilal

Chabilal was treated as a special case on muscles. Everything revolved round muscles with this man. So the group had choices but to recommend, placing special emphasis, on his muscle management. A general consensus was met, whereby Chabi had to strictly adhere to the recommendations of acute muscle shredding and to refrain from any public demonstrations of his proudly possessions, in-short, muscles!

Although, this man of muscles was found very fond of muscular displays, he was found equally poor in his displays and approach to love. The group wisely recommended him to gear up in spheres of love and be more romantic, which involved such purchases as expensive shoes and in the lower realms of expenses, acting stupid!

The muscle man was also advised to be less egoistic, the ways around which to play, was left to the man himself.

3A. WHY Deewakar doesn’t get a Girl Friend:

  1. Mummy’s boy
  2. Attacking person
  3. Dependency/ No personal initiative
  4. Too many purchase of pondis
  5. So choosy

3B. Deewakar’s recommended HOWTO:

  1. Be a girl’s boy, especially at night–> Deadline: End of September
  2. Leave and let live
  3. Don’t hire services to find a girl friend
  4. Don’t go to Siliguri
  5. Be less choosy

Consolidated Report on Deewakar

This man was found way into third degree corrosion, and the group had little choice than to refrain him against too many pondi purchases.

Leave and let live, was a motto, the group thought he should be wearing around his neck for the better benefit of himself and others alike in the spheres of love. The man had, under his sleeve, damages done to his fellow-mates, who were generous enough to be dining together with him during the get-together.

But, these very fellow-mates grievingly felt for him and recommended him not to get the services of others in the courtship of love, as the middleman partook of the future he was anxiously trying to live in.

He was also advised not to visit Siliguri as an anti-corrosion measure, and was advised not to be choosy and to be a girl’s man by the end of September 2007 failing to do which, would result in his throwing a gracious party to the group, and were expecting!

4A. WHY Tenzin doesn’t get a Girl Friend:

  1. Shy
  2. Too many Cartoonic fantasies
  3. Resersations in his approach. Quote “Hang aley ni, nanga charo ghita call ra philu mala wai…sob…sob…”
  4. Poor initiatives in the hemispheres of leadership qualities
  5. Too clever for girls

4B. Tenzin’s recommended HOWTO:

  1. Break the ice/eggs! Labda!!
  2. Watch less cartoons and more pondies!
  3. Call girls frequently. Get a landline connection
  4. Be a leader in proposing to girls/Don’t be a chicken
  5. Act stupid with girls/ Be a donkey in shrek!

Consolidated Report on Tenzin

Tenzin was crowned the Cartoon man, and was refrained from speaking out any Cartoon related talks. The group even went to the extent of controlling his Cartoonic fantasies and thoughts! And boy! Was it hard!

It escaped the group’s thought, so did his, on why he was shy in his approach and initiatives when he was trying towards the ultimate truth which involved losing something that was dear, only, to our female counterparts. All the more, he was advised to act stupid in front of them indefinitely, if he was to lose something of his, and become a man in the process.

In his laconic protests against the group naming him a reserved guy in his approach, the group gave a vivid account of him not calling the girls, where the girls were dying, even for a miss call from him. So he was advised to get a landline connection for the same purpose.

And thus, it was asserted, he would turn up in the next get-together with a girl, arisen from the landline connection.

5A. WHY Heruka doesn’t get a Girl Friend:

  1. Remoteness of location
  2. Past “bitter” experience
  3. Concentrating too much on bikes than girls
  4. Begs too much
  5. Commitment problems

5B. Heruka’s recommended HOWTO:

  1. Urbanize his location/Don’t hire T-shirts to Sonam
  2. Forget the past, enjoy the present and think for the future
  3. Propose KC seriously rather than self starting bikes—> Dateline: End of September
  4. Don’t beg, be a real man!
  5. Be committed

Consolidated Report on Heruka

This man was remembered for his daring acts of transporting bottles of beer from Hotel Sam and taking unto himself the task of drowning them, all in the name of forgetting that bitter experience. The beer bottles are gone, so are the contents, but something which should have gone with the purchase and drinking of beer, still haunts him. That lovely face, those intimate times still renders him a bad experience. So much for the bottles of beer!

And the group’s wise solution to this was a one-liner: Forget the “bitter” past!

Other prominent aspects of this man was his begger nature, which came easily to him and made commitment a problem to him.

The group found in their wisdom that Heruka shall propose KC, the ultimate begging matter he should woe. Failing to get her by the end of September would result in him throwing a grand dinner to the group, and were expecting!

6A: WHY Singay doesn’t get a Girl Friend:

  1. Daddy figure (Dominating)
  2. Past “bitter” experience
  3. Got style, but poor finishing
  4. Poor Resource Management
  5. Friend to everyone is a friend to none. Generalist

6B. Singay’s recommended HOWTO:

  1. Be submissive
  1. Forget the past/ Be brave/Plunge into the future/Learn some arithmetics to be more calculative
  2. Give smart finishing touches
  3. Starting from 18th, no lifts to guys, only girls!
  4. Focus on individuals in the field of Lovology

Consolidated Report on Singay

Singay, as the group argued to call him a father-figure, the term had to be changed into something understood by everyone. Dominating. And he was advised not to prepare a rooster for his forth-becoming girlfriends, if he got any along his future!

This man was found to be having all the resources that takes to getting a girlfriend, a car, all the styles needed to woe a girl which sadly, had only worked against himself due to his unyielding finishing touches.

As these things were spelt out loud, the man was seen flashing back into the early 2000s, labors being borne by his poor cycle, and numerous transportations to and fro on it, yet with a jaded past he sipped his glass of beer. This all summed up to a “bitter” experience, and the Pondi-man was remembered on this day for his harming actions.

But the great group’s advise was a one-liner “Forget the past/Be brave/Plunge into the future/Learn some arithmetics to be more calculative”. And the man bought it!


After HOWTOs

Throughout the framing of the HOWTOs, Sonam’s “Thank Yous” were smeared all over the conversations with such un-easing effect to the ears that, people had to stop nuisansing and continue with their discussions. This was a drill Tenzin picked up immediately after two hours.

After framing the HOWTOs, the group succumbed to such hunger, which was cured only through intake of food in plenty, termed wisely as “dinner” by some wise-one.

After dinner it was discussed and decided that:

  1. There will be a get-together at the end of each month
  2. During the get-together, individuals are “required” to come with their girlfriends

And there was more drinking.

Usually after dinner, people liked going home, and thus, some of the group members didn’t even try deviating from that popular thought. As the population of the get-together started thinning out, Heruka, Singay and Sonam decided to go and party. Deep into the night, the infamous trio were seen Bongku-dancing at Space 34 amidst so many pretty faces!


Translations:

Bongku-dancing=Donkeydancing

# posted by Sonam Phuntsho @ Sunday, November 01, 2009
Comments:
hey this one is real gud one!i never knew u were such a gud writer!
well do u guys have GF now?after all those analyzing things!lol
# posted by Anonymous Deep : 14 March 2010 at 22:17
 
well deep, tenzin got married
and few of us have gfs now :) quite a progress there haha
# posted by Blogger Sonam Phuntsho : 17 March 2010 at 17:22
 

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